A lot of us are unhappy. We wouldn’t necessarily admit to it. It’s not that we don’t have moments of happiness. And it’s not that we are morosely sad. But overall our lives feel empty. And we can’t figure out why. We check all the religious boxes – church, family and being nice to the neighbor – yet find ourselves restless and longing for more.

For a lot of us, this pattern of unhappiness is easy to identify, if we are honest with ourselves.

(1) Life is about us. We are self-centered. We are the sun at the center of our solar system.

(2) We want what we want. Since life is about us, our desires matter most. And it’s unfair if life isn’t what we want it to be.

(3) As a result of 1 and 2, we deal with a lot of anxiety. Things are never what we want them to be – circumstances, money, husband, wife, kids, job, city, house, neighborhood, car, health…you get the picture. And to make matters worse, the harder we try to control these things, the worst they become and the greater our anxiety grows.

(4) 1, 2 and 3 lead to blame. If we are racked with anxiety because our lives are not what we want them to be, it must be somebody else’s fault – husband, wife, kids, parents, boss, church, neighbor, government, God…you get the picture. We live on the edge of conflict. Our finger is always ready to point.

(5) Muddled and mired in anxiety and resentment, we don’t think clearly. How we choose to deal with life defaults to worldly philosophy. Without resistance we fall into the snares of the devil – greed, lust, drunkenness, drugs, self-pity, bitterness, abusiveness…you get the picture. Oh we know it’s not right. But we just don’t care anymore. After all, we’ve rationalized that it’s not our fault.

(6) We go to bed at night and wake up in the morning unhappy. No light in our eyes. No smile on our lips. No song in our heart. Unhappy.

So what does Jesus’ teaching on prayer have to do with our unhappiness? Well, nothing and everything. Nothing because Jesus’ teaching focuses us on the Father, not on our happiness or unhappiness. And everything because we will not experience happiness unless we are focused on the Father.

Notice how Jesus’ teaching on prayer radically changes us even if our circumstances remain the same.

(1) Prayer centers our lives on our holy, heavenly Father. In all His glory, our Father who loves us and who is perfect in every conceivable and inconceivable way, is the center of the universe. Not us.

(2) Prayer surrenders our lives to our holy, heavenly Father. He who is above all, sees all, knows all and is sovereign over all, loves us as our Father. Because of who He is, we trust every aspect of our lives to His will, surrendering all that we are to His rule and reign over us.

(3) As a result of 1 and 2, we daily rely on our Father for our every need. Our needs are still very real, but because of who He is, we are content with what He provides. Our Father is sufficient for us.

(4) 1, 2 and 3 lead to an ever-deepening understanding and experience of grace. The more we learn of His love and His perfections, the more we realize how unlovable and imperfect we are and the more we delight in His grace. And thus overwhelmed by His grace, we are transformed to be gracious to others.

(5) Worshiping the Father in the beauty of His holiness and love, surrendered to His perfect will, content with all that He is and what He provides, overwhelmed by His amazing grace, we want our lives to make much of Him. So knowing that our hearts are prone to wander, we daily cry out for His guidance and His protection that we might live for His glory.

(6) Filled with the awe and wonder of our Father, we go to bed and wake up delighted in Him. Our lives reflect His glory. His praise is on our lips. Our hearts are filled with joy.

As John Piper reminds us, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” And that’s what Jesus’ teaching on prayer does. Praying this way glorifies God, putting the focus on Him, not us. When we do that, we learn to be happily content in Him regardless of the circumstance. And when we are so happily content in Him, others see the contentment wrought in us by the Father’s love and care and He is glorified.

So learn to pray like this.

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

(Matthew 6:9-13 NKJV)